Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
