I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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