i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
oh god the rape fog is back!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
