i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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