I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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