My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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