So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
