there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How external is "for external use only"?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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