worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
