You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
