she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
