Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
