Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
