Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
