You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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