just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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