Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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