i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
