He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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