I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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