YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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