So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
