And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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