windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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