I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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