this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
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I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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