You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
