I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
