i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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