So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
even my farts smell like vagina
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize