was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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