Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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