You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
