Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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