I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
