I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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