"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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