return my video game
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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