Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
