i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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