This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
