Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Randomize
