I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
