The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
