if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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