You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
