Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
