You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
