I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
