Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
