I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Houston, we have a blender
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
