I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
