I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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