It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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