I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Less talking, more tequila
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
