I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize