respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
