can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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