wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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