omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
