dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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